i thought i would call it home

such a fool........ i need to figure a lot out.. getting to old for this.....

Life is Fucked sometimes................

It just BAFFLES me on how some people and their immature mentally are.. get YOUR PRIORITIES right!... My best Friend since i was a little girl has flipped her script and she IS self destruction... i feel so bad for her children because they are the ones suffering under her madness... it's not they're fault for being here if you didn't want them you should have WRAPPED UP... i told her many many times before never burn your bridges especially the bridges that has helped and forgave you so many times... The days when you were roaming the streets selling yourself you're children were dressed, feed and sheltered due to some awesome people that had your back.... it's just a shame that families and friends are torn apart because of immature and spiteful behaviors... we're not here to put you DOWN we were only here TO HOLD YOU UP and WE WISH you knew that... i FUCKING LOVE YOU with all my heart you are still my SISTER but this is bullshit and those children need their MOMMIE/MOTHER not some smoke fiend.... our hearts go out for those poor babies<3!

Somethings in life…

I love my new phone… iPhones are just kick ass man…


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

so i think...

i've been hit with the Beatles-mania.... this week i've bought 6 remasters... thanx Target

how about an update...

things are pretty much the same on my side of the world but its just starting to get a little better i say.. i'm officially single and ready to mingle, well i've always been single according to Lookman...lol but i'm trying to get myself back into school hopefully SUNY New Paltz to finish up my Education Degree in the Spring... and pretty much I'm just a girl living in a big city who is trying to get out on the world, financially.. hahaha sounds like something MTV would write... blaaaah....lol

extremely sad...

my niece and sister stumbled on an amazing creation, three baby kittens and their mother living in my neighbors basement window... for almost a week now I've been feeding them but the thing is my parents are against pets and i truly want to keep them but i can't so that's where you the reader come in and take these precious little creatures off my hands.... if you are interested I'll constantly check my blog to see if there is any takers but at the end of the week I'm going to have to take them in to the North Shore shelter because i can't see for these guys to be alone in the streets when they learn how to leave the nest.......

sounds sort of weird..

but i miss that EERIE feeling of driving through and around Long Island... my bike has kept me close to home.. i miss those wild summer nights..........

it's been awhile since i've seen you smile....

WORK was SOOOO MUCH FUN.. two weeks into camp and I'm starting to think this is going to be a fun summer... my niece is in Gymnastics Camp, one of the many camps I'm in charge of. We went to Hits and Hoops in Brooklyn today for our trip and I'm so proud of my sports camp because we only had a few incidents... yay 130 kids is nothing Stackz and I got this man....lmao

I'm so beat so I'm going to hit the showers and try to finish reading Franny and Zooey.......

SlingShot Dakota w/ Native and La Dispute

was amazing.. there were two other bands that played with them The Snowing (some ex members of street smart cyclist<3!) and Wild Moccasins, who i hear are kick ass as well…

So i was really excited to see Native only because i’ve been harassing them through myspace and other online sites, but i know they love that i love them, for almost a year and i finally got my wish, they BLEW ME AWAY like i expected and if you guys do read this THANX SO MUCH FOR ALL THE HUGS especially all the warm hugs you gave me Bobby<3! i adore you kiddo…. i really do hahaha Next up was La Dispute which i knew nothing about and i just want to say Jordan is INSANE and i’m now a hopelessly devoted fan because their set was CRAZY!!!!..and Jordan is AWESOME<3!… Slingshot brought the house down like they always do that’s why i always try to make it out to their shows, it’s a guarantee PARTY<3!… Tis’ was great night in Brooklyn so i hope you guys come back REAL SOON and if anyone other than them are reading this you should definitely check all these incredible bands out..

Portugal. The Man

Last night in Brooklyn at the SouthPaw, PTM was so amazing and these boys really know how to play their instruments, John Gourley wailing on the guitar as if he were Jimi Hendrix, while Zachary Carothers attempts spiral back bends on his bass.. haha these boys are groovie man... The drummer Jason Sechrist sort of remembered me, he didn't say hi but he stared as he walked by haha i know its been 3 long years since I've seen you guys and I've grown up and changed dramatically.. seriously I'm so dramatic.. i wanted to hang out after the show just to say hi but it's weird when you are alone at shows because of the awkwardness there after... Johnnie kept saying that this was their best show ever in New York but i think all of the Knitting Factory shows in the past were better.. Maybe because i had my crew there with me or maybe because there were so many DRUNK people spilling beer ALL OVER the place and then wining about how they're not going to buy another drink because they already spent 30 bucks on drinks and blah blah blah... But overall PORTUGAL. THE MAN are some Kickass Kats so if you like soul, indie, folk, blues, experimental, or just groovie music check them out then go see them live, they make everything go insane plus Johnnie's voice will make you want to live inside him. that is all......

i think...

i really like my online friend Karlos.. well i've always had but i think finally he realizes that we sort of have a good thing here... you know a little understanding...lol

well anyway i've been a single mother for 14 hours now and its soooo much work.. i'm so tired plus i had to work this morning ahhhh up before 6 am on a saturday.... but whatever i love my niece and nephew and my sister Trice needs a break... well she better take me to Vegas with her next time and we'll leave the kids with uncle Lugie... i need a nap....

Colin Weaver ......

is amazing he wrote me a song... YAY!!!! hahahahaha so i'm posting it on here for the world to hear and that i never lose it so check it out and tell me what you think....lol

Abbie Road

THANK YOU so much Colin i love it<3!

here's a happy post

well this past weekend was amazing... Friday after work i headed out to Rhode Island to chill with Andrew while his parents were away.. it was pretty sweet.... i thought about hooking up with him when i drank so much wine on Saturday evening but I'm glad i didn't because it would have RUINED our friendship and he's so frickin awesome to be around.... we ate so much vegan food and shopped so much... he took me to romantic chill places which i enjoyed a lot because they were very spiritual.. and frankly i needed it.. i really needed this... the world has so much beauty and i shouldn't dwell so much on the ugly.... so Sunday i was going to head home early to check out that show Barrie was hosting (sorry i missed it lady<3!) but my homie John called and told me his friends were playing with the Appleseed cast in Providence... man i couldn't miss the Appleseed Cast nor John who by the way looked amazing.. wink wink...lol well i couldn't stay long since i have to catch the last bus out of Boston at 11 and we were an hour away in Providence.. overall it was the best weekend by far and i didn't really spend much on the trip and there so I'm definitely doing this again....so next stop Boston to chill with John<3!...

i'm well passed social drinking....

I'm SOOOOOO STUPID....

how can you say you feel nothing after 4 years.. did you just wake up and simply say i feel nothing for you... you're so full of shit with all your "I love You"'s and "I'll be a fool to lose you" .. it's the truth and i meant everything i said last night in brooklyn on that bathroom floor......


..............i need to get my life back

you and me, so happy together<3!

so excited i finally got my new bike and i absolutely adore it<3!.. i can't wait to ride to work tomorrow if my legs still work from my two hour ride around VS... i need to ride through the state park more often VS is so beautiful...


last night was pretty cool i had the car so i drove to Brooklyn to chill with the feminists and ended up running into my EX Rob..hahaha if we were still together how would my life be.. who knows but I'm glad that he found himself an AWESOME girl.. i really adore her.. i hope it wont be awkward if i start hanging around their apartment...lol well anyway the cool news is that awhile back when i went to check my cousin Osa who was playing bass for the younger lovers i had my eyes on this beautiful boy who i saw last night at the show.. he stumbled towards me and we engaged in a little convo i thought it was pretty awesome that he remembered seeing me so that's a good sign..lol long story short the homewreckers are kick ass and I'm going to check out his band this Wednesday in Brooklyn which is going to be fun since he's playing with my girls.. i think next weekend when i get back from Rhode Island I'm going to fix up my electric and play some tunes.. I'm ready to play....

FML

ahhh my life once again is falling apart.. i wish i had someone to talk to or just hold me for awhile.... i wish i didn't invest so much time or assume so much because whenever you do you just end up looking like a fool in the end.. is it worth sending in all these stupid college applications all over again.. Ive missed so many deadlines and i don't think i can withstand another semester out.. maybe i should just give up on the higher education so i can show my parents that i am a failure and simply a waste of space... i just want to graduate and move on with my life..i want to feel like i amount to something or someone.....

i'll sleep when i'm dead.....

i haven't slept since Saturday morning when Daniel left around 2 am hopefully that 6 hours will keep me up and not kill me by the end of tonight..lmao Dan Deacon was fucking kick ass.. i enjoyed dancing with random strangers until 330 in the morning and have random girls wanna kiss me during songs.. i think Dan Deacon made us his bitches tonight he made us all do OUTRAGES things some things our parents wouldn't approve of... hahaha

really enjoyed Ethiopian food with Lookman and spending one short hour with Tranette<3 and Richard<3!.. thanx to our Mother dearest.but it's all good thou she Lent us her car... so glad we had the car today well this morning because we would have never made it back here so quick.. I'm all cleaned up from peoples sweat and as well as my own.. now just trying to stay awake i have to leave for work in an hour... whatever today is where i make the big bucks plus I'm the BOSS.. so i do what i want.... damn right.. hahahaha

i just want to also send best wishes to my good friend Evan.. stay strong and you'll make it out this mess<3!

i know this is wrong...

But i still love him so much<3!...


tomorrow is PAY DAY!!!! YAY!!!!!!!

it's funny...well sad

how history repeats itself... please lord not again... i'm not ready for this....................

ahhh i wish...

it would stop raining.. I'm so ready for the warm nights in Brooklyn like tonight.. but we've turned into the western world or yet Seattle with all this rain... So depressing.... well anyway this week hasn't been a total waste.worked a lot gotta make that cake in the words of Erwin?<3, my little crush i hope he calls..lol. So my cousin Osa was in town playing in her friends band The Younger Lovers with Brontez from Gravytrain.....i missed their set tonight but i did catch their set last Monday at Don Pedros and it was kick ass.... I'm in love with Brontez too bad we missed his DJ-ing gig at the Nowhere bar earlier today because me and the girls were prettie stoned and enjoying each others company.... this is why i need to work on my music and try to see if i could join someones band....that would be kick ass.. Or start that 2 piece with Daniel... It's like Daniel will be forever in love with me.. i feel so bad<3!.. but whatever it's life.. so yeah i met my new best friend Cristy Road and she is frickin groovey plus a published author.. she gave me one of her books titled, Indestructible, which looked svveet when i was looking through it so i can't wait to read it ... maybe I'll chill at home tomorrow and not go drinking to read this book and possibly get some work done.. nah that's what Sunday is for..lol.. well any way i got a long day today so i need some rest.. Tania is coming down tonight so its going to be a party yo... whoop whoop<3!

i feel accomplished worked all week yeah i'm up to three part time jobs and yet i can't afford rent...hahahah suckie life...lol
................it feels good having wheels<3!.

umm PLUG PLUG...

leave me a comment and tell me what you think....lol

Wait for the summer...

Yeasayer just makes me feel so good about myself.. truthfully..lol I enjoy waking up in the morning sticking my head out the door to see how much the world has changed from yesterday and from two days ago.. Spring is finally here and I'm excited YAY!.. i can't wait for my Bro to come home and the gang to move back for the summer finally i wont be as alone as i have been... I really enjoy my jobs at the Y haha right now I'm employed by three different people and one of them is myself.. Friday was awesome Luke and I was able to go on the Field trip with PS 33 plus the 8 of the children that were chosen to represent the Y to test out PS 85 newly designed by the students playground.. oooooo MY THE BEST DAY EVER.. we played laughed and laughed and played dude Luke and I looked as if we were left back waaaaaay to many times in elementary but it's all good we got paid for it.. what a treat.... Hey at least now i can keep my phone on, eat and go out drinking when i want to plus have a little money left over in my wallet.. Life is looking up blaaah.. alright just wanted to drop a line ENJOY MAY<3!

Stacy's last day..

our last day to be best friends<3!..... so she's in Georgia right now and i miss her already.. she was a great roommate and one of my best friends.. it's rare to find people or even someone that completes you so well.. so i guess i need to start working on those frequent flyer miles then...lol.. but before she left the gang and i went out to IHOP for some brunch and watched a movie like old times and great times... I'm going to miss you and thank you so much for piercing my septum i love it....lol

Take me away...ooo i love you..

420 was a success, had a little party and got hella lifted as planned.... i'm growing up and i know this...plus i'm enjoying every bit of it.. it blows that my roommate is moving to Georgia tomorrow .. i can't believe the days moved so fast but anywayz it was great and i'm going to miss you Stacy i'm glad we became best friends<3!... maybe tonight i'll pierce my septum before we head out to the bar to celebrate Alison's 21st BIRTHDAY.. about time my ID needs to be re-tired..YAY<3!..lol

Happy Birthday Alison<3!..........

i'm going to smoke a bowl in your honor<3!..lol

420

YEAH<3!

Accomplished....

so today i feel and know i got a lot done.. Stacy and I came home late last night chilling with the boys at Long Beach and later in Minneola.. I'm a little fond of Jay he had an Alice and wonderland bowl which was kick ass and a drum set my dream guy..nah lol well anyway had my first meeting at 11 with Greg about the COH event coming up on the 26th which went extremely smooth since we only have about 12 new clients so yay i don't have to fight about the credit card...SVVEET... hung out with the kids of the Y and my cool co workers.. it was good being around Luke being that we are out for vacation and i refused to work holiday camp.... Even thou i call Luke lame, Ghey and everything else insulting he's the coolest person ever and I'm not just saying that because we share the same birthday... it's all love from my end..lol.. then I had another meeting at 4 with Javon and that went well as well plus during the hour gap i had i was able to sit under the ramada to enjoy the book I'm reading by John Updike that i bought on Tuesday.....

It's Thursday and tomorrow is PAY DAY YAY!!!!....lol alright going to go chill and wait for my awesome roommate to come home.....

OVERALL GREAT DAY + GREAT WEATHER = HAPPINESS<3!

oooooo and HAPPY 60TH BIRTHDAY TO MY FATHER.... it's been 60 years yo....crazy

Mike Kinsella.....

.......i wish i could marry you and live underneath your words<3!

today was a pretty alright i feel a little better than Friday so that's good.. went out for a walk to find that the whole world celebrates Easter... so yeah got a bottle of wine.... yummie<3 now I'm waiting for my roommate to show up 'cause we are about to have a ladies night<3!..... YAY!!!....lol

I'm not going anywhere tonight<3!

I'm Sick

and very confused.. or should i say a little disorientated.. i feel there's something missing or somewhere found.. i don't know what it is but i do know i have to shake this funk and this cold...blahhh.. i want to live like Kafka on the shore but until then i remember when i wanted to be her<3!
Ode to Karen O.

We Are The Union

... are pretty rad<3.... My first friday away from the world.. YAY<3!

I got a curse...

"it melts every thing away, i think it's in my DNA"... aww i adore Hutch and Kathy.. i adore waking up in the early mornings just to watch their videos, yeah i know pretty sad right?..lol well who cares i wanted to run but its wet outside so why not watch Hutch and Kathy and the thermal videos to pump me up for today... since the Y fucked me over with my Check again.. 60 bucks short.. it's like every time i'm waiting on money with them they always fall through... i'll call Greg later blah..

So i guess i'm going to go with the Schwinn 700c Hybrid bike hopefully it'll work out for me and i'm going to send back the Combover bag i bought from Simple shoes and get the overload which is 15 bucks more.. why didn't i see that bag before blah well time is ticking, Monday the 20th will be here soon and i still need to get my bike equipment.. i hope it all works out... yay i'm going to buy my bike today!!!!!

"we were born to sin, WE WERE BORN TO SIN!"

twitter..

I've made one and now what do i do with it...lol... Maybe i'll join some Earth and Vegan tweets so i can stay updated on my lifestyle since i lack Vegan and Earthy friends...lmao add me http://twitter.com/DearAbbieRoad

Well my Verizon contract is up in 4 days and it'll feel great to be a free agent, in baseball terms, speaking of baseball i think the Mets first game is tomorrow night or tonight.. YAY baseball season is on and i'm finally going to be able to watch something i enjoy and it will be somewhat consistent..... there are so many teams and i can't wait for the Mets to beat them and everyone else to BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE YANKEES.. sorry Melissa<3!....lol

Officer of Hearts...

It's funny i've purchased so many CDs these past days or more precisely this month that i don't really actually listen to the CDs in entirety until i'm driving my mom's car... the reason for this is because i finally listened to the Handsome Furs's new album Face Control and its frickin rad<3!... i picked it up on faith since earlier that day i read an article on it and they got great reviews... i don't quite remember the magazine nor the newspaper i was reading but trust me it wasn't a copy of the AP, they suck ass...lol

Well Happy Fool's day.. i tried to get Daniel but instead i was the April Fool...lol.. i didn't even know that kid could think.. i underestimated him it seems.... here's to another day<3!

And I'll tell you for why...

I got my old posts back yay!.. thanx to blogger for keeping my deleted or undeleted blog on file... i was upset before but i got over it.. so this is a lesson to everyone when you get over the things that go wrong and move on with your life sometimes you're able to get a second chance, to do it right.......


Always have faith and don't dwell to much on the mistakes learn from them....

Crawl back out of your sorry graves

" i still feel the same way as i did when i was a kid"..... Ghost Mice<3!.... So this weekend was a blast, it wasn't short nor long but full of my own little excitement but i think the highlight of my weekend is when i made Falafels and Tahini dressing on Saturday.....
It was a lot of fun but tons of work since i didn't have a food processor... i wonder how the people in the Middle East do it but whatever i did it without one... lol
i want to thank Mamoun's for the inspiration and Vegan with A Vengeance for the guidance....lol oooh and i want to thank my lovely mother for having Brunch with me.. She really enjoyed them i think more than i did and trust me they were really really good...lol.. So Lugie maybe before you leave for or after you get back from the Solomon Islands I'll make you a batch<3!


So I'm sort of bored with the music on my ipod and I've been finding new tunes to replace the old ones with.. ahhh I'm running out of space and everything i find is getting better and better...lol... well maybe they'll make the cut for next month YAY!... see here in Abbie Road's Music Land every one's a winner<3!....lol

Last thing before i disappear into the abyss... Saturday was Earth hour to make everyone aware of climate change and thanx for everyone who participated and no thank you to my neighbor Kelly for telling me he was going to turn on all of his lights for that hour.. he's horrible to me..lol.. well anyway before i went astray it rained hail last night and boy was it intense... interesting right.... we need to protect and treat our mother better than we treat ourselves, she's all we got left<3!

It's my right to be a fucking baby..sometimes...

ah true words spoken by the great Mike Kinsella... i adore thee... well this past week i've been trying to be productive getting up around 6:30 or 7 in the morning for my hour jog.. i need to get fitter if I'm going to be traveling to work by bicycle soon.. i can't wait. still pricing bikes, who would have known they cost so much especially if you want a good one... once i find the right bike, I'm leaning towards a Schwinn hybrid 700c, I'm going to be on the road... so hopefully in like 2 weeks i'll have my very own means of transportation...lol

well my homie Stacy has made up her mind and is moving to Georgia in three weeks which is depressing for me once again because she pretty much is the only friend i have left in long island... but whatever Georgia isn't all that far and next week she'll be moving in with me so thats going to be fun spending our last days as stoners<3!.. lol

Enjoy your day<3!

Riceboy sleeps...

is the opening of my Spring day, i hope to keep this enthusiasm for the days to come. Today is CommunitY of Hope and I'm pretty excited about this which believe me i never am. All i do is bitch and moan about how things are never done partially because of my own not doing. I had my evaluation last Thursday and Greg believes that i need to step up and take control of this program because it is mine and i say Thank You to that, frickin finally. Now i will be able to shape it the way i want or where i feel people need to be educated on more and it is about our Mother, Mother Earth<3!. Our workshop today will be about Urban Gardens, how to use less and conserve more for the Adults and for the youth drawing what Spring means to them plus teach them the importance of recycling this will soon be their planet. So wish me Luck and thank you Riceboy Sleeps for bringing me "Happiness".............

Milk...

So i finally saw the film and i may say it was very good... i learned about the "twinkie defense" from school as a youth but i didn't quite understand it.... sugar or sweets go better with milk.... play on logic..... well i already knew what to expect and and now i understand it a lot more.. James Franco and Sean Penn are an amazing duo.. well done boys, well done<3!....

So I've decided that I'm going to make a 'Things to do' list just like in the movie i bought the other day, "Things to do"..haha it was pretty funny and right where i am in life.... it's funny how things tend to find you at the right time in your life when you feel you've lost everything... i finally get the saying "sometimes you have to lose yourself to find yourself"....... interesting

celebrating my birthday at Disney....

I've been thinking about having my birthday celebration at Disney world.. why not.. I'm not getting any younger so why not make this year a great one... i just need people who are serious about having a great time.. it's open to anyone wanting to come they just have to pay their own expenses so bring love ones or anyone that is looking just to get away for awhile.... i'm planning on arriving there on Friday to soak up the sun and leaving Orlando maybe on Tuesday so i can head to Gainesville for the fest that upcoming weekend, so if you want to spend two weeks with me in Florida you are welcome to come as of now I'll be venturing alone....haha yeah....

Get your head around it......

i was awaken by the sound of modest mouse coming from my cellphone to confirm that the community of hope for this Sunday will go as planed. I was giving up on this event because it seemed as if i was the only one that wanted this program to prosper.... i figured if i want to give back to the community I'll do it my own way like a books no bomb or putting on a benefit sow in my backyard but i guess for now this will do and this coming June i am going to pass the torch to Husani<3!... good luck kiddo.....

Sunday bloody sunday...

Today was quite time consuming.. i got an early start this morning headed out with the moms to queens so i could spend my day in the city.. hit up Virgin and spent $120 dollars on 9 CDS and 4 DVDs.. haha yeah i went crazy....lol i didn't get all the CDs that were on my list but i was able to tackle 3.. not bad so YAY!....



I thought it was pretty cool to find my cousin's CD being sold there.. if i didn't already own it i would have gotten one of the copies... everyone check out New Bloods.. they are Kick ass and I'm not saying that because Osa is my cousin I'm just stating the truth...

All about Lily Chou-Chou

is my favorite movie at the moment.. i've been searching the web for this "Ether" that they've been referring to.....



thank you Lugie<3!.......

Virgo.....

..............i wonder if your horoscope read that I'm leaving you and this time its for good..........................

Dumb Luck.....

I'm so tired of cleaning... Lugie and his friend Mike are going to be here for a week and I'm so excited.... i think it's going to be pretty sweet having another brother for awhile....

so this week has been, i don't know but I'm going to say a little of life changing and prioritizing... Stacy and i were planning to get a place in Brooklyn with Alison and her friend in May but the thing is I'm going to have to find another job on top of being a full time student so its going to be tough..blaah so if that falls through we might just look for an affordable place out here on the Island hopefully in rockville centre or Lynbrook somewhere close to the city, close to school and not to damn expensive...lol

Off to bed i had a crazy week and i want to thank Stacy and the Ganjah we smoked for showing me a great time...

peace

open close open....

maybe you're right maybe i have no fucking clue of what I'm talking about but i do know one thing i want to live more love more laugh more if its with or without you.. I'll be here to pull you out of a rout and all but you need to help me out a little.. i don't know if I'm coming or I'm going the only thing i know is that I'm growing and sometimes i believe we are growing apart.... so we can either make the best of it or just not.... life is a funny thing..................

ummmm Maps & Atlases...lol

So it was really good seeing my boy Dave again..i thought he forgot about me but when he texted to see if i was coming out to chill i felt like YAAAAY.. he didn't forget me..lol... so anyways Stacy and i went down there hung out with him we didn't go to his friend Dave's apartment which was not to far from Southpaw but after the first time i hung out with him and his friends at his friend Dave's apartment i felt like i was being watched in a way but not really i was just paranoid i guess because it was my first time hanging with a ton of boys that i didn't really know...any one say gang bang...lol..nah but no worries thou it didn't go down like that..I'm a classy person at times...lol well i adore this kid DAVE<3!....i wish you didn't live in Chicago and i in new york...boooohooooo...lol....he's so funny<3!

OOOo and as Stacy and i were running through the streets of Brooklyn trying to catch out train i lost my precious hat, it pretty much disappeared when we went back to look for it it was non existent ... so sad it matched my plugs....lol

let's just LOVE HARD<3!...LMFAO

buried myself alive....

ahh i remember when i was young when i was alive, vibrant.. it's funny how we grow out of things we thought would last with us forever... what happened.. why didn't we find each other.. do you believe we will ever find it... i wish our young selves met before the war but hopefully we'll meet in the end.. my darling Berthelomew

hahahaha.. i was so ghey<3!... maybe we do have to lose ourselves in order to find ourselves<3...........................

Look Down....

You could build a sunset with a pile of sticks and break my heart with it....... i think the best line ever<3!... Algernon is one of my favorite bands at the moment..... i'm going to take it all this time...

YAY for Snow Days<3!........ leaving us with a bang<3!.............

such a fool....

I've just deleted my blog on accident...haha so sad my whole life is gone in a flash.. interesting.. it really makes you think.. well i guess it's time for a change you know out with the old and in with the new.. today is going to be a new day<3!....embrace it.....

Bob Marley was right if you inject the world with music this world would be a peaceful place...right on<3!.... there is so much music in the world and i want to taste and feel every last minute of it...Algernon Cadwallader takes over my life.... you could build a sunset out of sticks and break my heart with it....

Bob Marley

was right if you inject the world with music this world would be a peaceful place...right on<3!.... there is so much music in the world and i want to taste and feel every last minute of them.. Algernon Cadwallader takes over my life... you could build a sunset out of sticks and break my heart with it.................

I keep my poems underneath my pillow.....

Today was a pretty chill day even thou i didn't go to the City.. i think I've been a bitch lately to my mother and i need to nip that in the butt.. she's my best friend<3!...

I need to work on getting my applications out for school... i was checking for colleges that offer ASL as a degree.. well in a Masters but all i see are B.Ss... interesting maybe i should just graduate with a B.S in English and hopefully something will pop up..blah

Luke believes i should be a music journalist since thats the only thing i ever talk about.. haha yeah that would be a sweet gig but it would take the fun out writing about music.. my inspiration only comes to life when there are sweet sounds playing out of my speakers so i guess I'll just stick to blogging them..lmao

boy problems= kick ASS<3! ...........it's overwhelming me<3!...............................

TOKYO POLICE CLUB<3!

owns my heart.. i went to see them last night with my homeboy Luke at Webster and it was a kick ass show.... we danced the night away under the disco ball and their cover of The Clash "Train in Vain(Stand by Me) was fucking amazing... it was just simply fucking amazing!!!.. if you know me you know how much i love the clash especially Joe Strummer so it brought a smile from ear to ear and a tear to my eyes.. great fucking job Tokyo Police Club, Born Ruffians and Harlem Shakes for making my night<3!

2 Piece Fest 2!!!!!!

So the trip to Philly was a success and i had so much fun... Slingshot Dakota are my new best friends and best friends are still my friends plus Peter and Craig own at life<3!.. got to to chill with awesome peeps and i wouldn't mind going out there again but this time to chill with the kids that live in Pi Lam especially Cathy<3!......

So Daniel and I have been fighting for almost a week now and its been so bad that we stopped using our normal voices.. i think yesterday's call push me over the edge and i had to just hang up on the kid... don't come between me and the fest...lol well whatever if we can't make it together as boyfriend and girlfriend i still want to make it as a 2 piece band...that's all i want is to make music with him...blah

Well in other news i want to thank Tania for spending the weekend with me and heading out to Philly with me.. met some cool and interesting people in Philly and on the way home coming from Philly.. haha Tom from Jersey owns my heart at the moment i just have a feeling that I'm going to find out he's only 19.. i think i could go to jail for this...lol

YAAAAWN... I'm so tired so i guess i'll call it a night and if anyone is into 2 piece bands or just great music check out these awesome bands and then thank me later....lol

1)Peter and Craig (Philly)
2)Trophy Wife
3)Slingshot Dakota<3! (BK<3!/PA)
4)Best Friends (Philly)
5)Ingrid (DC)
6)Deer Friends (NJ)
7)Japanther<3!(NYC<3!)
8)1994!<3!
9)Shellshag(NYC<3!)
10)DeerGear (DE)
11)Reading Rainbow<3!
12)The Book Slave
13)Hulk Smash
14)Color Change (CT)
15)Hoop Dreamz (TX)

there were 22 bands that played yesterday but these are the ones i brought back home with me<3!....not bad 15 out of 22 great job...until next year

I promise we'll swing for the fences...

........makes me feel so strangely but in a good way.. Look Mexico has amazed me with their old stuff i heard a couple of their new stuff but i think This is Animal music is by far a well put together CD... his voice has finally settled

well today i had a doctors appt which was back in my heart of Brooklyn.. haha met up with Tania and i think I'm over Red Bamboo... surprising...lol yeah whatever

I'm so glad i didn't pass out like the rest of the guys... Tony, Stacy and Tania are passed out downstairs and I'm wide awake.. it makes no sense for me to go to sleep now when i will be getting up in the next hour... so yeah i got to talk to my KARLos<3!.. i adore that kid.. He sent me a hug and kiss through Tania which i thought was extremely sweet....i can't wait until we get our matching t-shirts hahahaha it's like we are the same person but not....lol

this is going to be a sweet day.. gotta stay awake.... time to take on the big city..rawr wish me luck!!!

i've never felt this pain before and it feels WONDERFUL.....

haha Boy Problems was an amazing band just like Quantice too bad it had to end so quick but it felt wonderful when they were around... awwww why do all the great things come to an end but all the horrible things keeps up it's pace... we will never know...

so today i had an amazing run, i finished my 3 laps strong so i think next week I'm going to add an extra lap just to keep me wanting more.. I'm getting fitter by the day and I'm loving every bit of it so my next goal is to be consistent so i can shed these unwanted pounds and keep if off for good.... you only need three goals in life to say you've had a fun time..
by....
1) staying Healthy
2) consume as much knowledge
3) practice affection

and so far I'm two out for three.......................

Tania is coming over for the weekend and Sunday we'll be in Philly.. i got money in the bank so this is going to be "FUN FUN FUN" in the words of Noah and that whale of his....lol

Thursday Antics....

Today i got up 30 minutes before i had to be in work.. i hate getting up so early especially when i was so tired at 8 pm and then restless at midnight... i need a better sleeping pattern or something.... i can't win with myself. In-house isn't bad and i really enjoyed swimming today unlike Tuesday i got sort of a work out which is what i intended on getting... my body is coming along I've been trying to re build my body, I've been watching what I've been consuming and exercising daily with my 5 mile runs in the mornings... exciting! thanx to my ipod i can run all day...well not all day just most of the day.....lol

Just got home from exchanging the wine i bought earlier because it wasn't vegan friendly and i thought i would take a chance but i should have just went with the yellowtail and called it a night. well whatever i enjoyed my little walk plus i got to scare the living SHIT out of one of my kids from work that i saw in Waldbaums he was so surprised and so i guess he's right i am a little crazy... sorry Jahmani... hahaha I'll see you Monday kiddo..lol

up and out..

Today i'll be working at the Y in-house since school is out this week ahhhh it's holiday camp season.. i have to go swimming today and i'm actually looking forward to sticking my head in the water....lol.. well i'm up early and if i don't leave now i'm going to be late.. out by 12 and a meeting at 1 ahhh i hope this doesn't turn into a looooong daay....

i wish i could get this GPS to work...blaaahh....lol

cookies made with....... love?

I'm so proud of myself i baked a ton of cookies for the kids at work and for Daniel who is my valentine this year.. finally huh... since i was commented on every one's page i thought i would write an entry and show off my baking skills and no worries there are no hash in these brownies.. hey i wouldn't waste it on my horrible kids.. joking about the horrible kids but telling the truth about not wasting my shit...lmao


Alright i'm going to finish designing mrs. Sandy's jewelry box for her daughter.. i've tapped in to my artistic side i've been drawing, creating and next week i will be working on my earring project.. if only i devoted this much effort on my guitar.. Daniel would be proud...

Hot Topic

After looking at these pics on facebook made me feel so nostalgic... i sort of miss my old life my hot topic life.. haaha i thought i would never say that but i worked with pretty rad peeps and it blows that i don't see any of them anymore... i remember when i was cool well sort of...lol

I've just prepared three types of cookies for my bake-athon tomorrow night for my kids at work...i love valentine's day... i hope one day I'll have my own kids to bake for... tick tick tick... is that my biological clock.....blah...lol

What a beautiful day....

i woke up got dress for my morning run, the only thing that makes me want to start a new day, and was amazed how wonderful the world can be... i wish i had an unlimited metro because i would take advantage.. go to the park and re-read Thoreau.. like i told my brother David before sometimes i admire Thoreau for his wisdom but other times i loathe him for his ignorance.... but any who i adore Lugie he texted me and it just made me miss that kid even more it's like he could read my mind.. maybe he could...lol

so I'm sort of careless because i lost Emily's email address and phone number i hope she emails me or i might have to wait for the next community of hope to see her.. She was one of our new participants for this month and she seemed pretty awesome. She has been a vegan for one year and a vegetarian 3 years before.. which is awesome i've been a Vegan going on 4 years(WOW!) and prior to that i was a vegetarian for 3... We discussed recipes and health issues.. i think i just found myself a new friend plus she is my age so I'm excited.. i need to clean up my office maybe its still around....

i adore this man........ Gravity Rides Everything<3!..............

Rosa Parks

so today we started rehearsals for the play Rosa Parks in honor of Black History month.. we already have a full line up and many more need to audition tomorrow.. This is going to be a lot of fun and if the kids do well we might have a showcase for the parents..yay!!!.. i can't wait......lol

Bipolar-ism

You're the only person that makes be feel so low and so high in a split second..
For some strange reason you have the key to unlock my heart....
You walk in, dance, sleep and live there day by day...
And then you leave without closing the door...
So now my insides are flooded and the rush keeps pouring out..
Until i get enough strength to clean it up...
With my mop and buckets...
The mess that you've left behind....
Patch it up real nice and start to get on track...
And like a fool i don't change the locks...
I put up a fence or two but yet i don't change the locks...
As if i want you to come home, well i do...
But like a fool i don't change the locks........

Bon Iver...

wow I've been sitting on this CD for awhile now and i'm just taken away... re:stacks is the most beautiful sad song ever written... i wanted to cry , laugh, tear my heart out and just soak into every line and feel ever note.. amazing....

today was somewhat nerve wrecking well this week has been.. It's like every community of hope i get all crazy because there is always things needed to be done or fixed.. this one was the worst of all nothing was done.. my items weren't ordered the snacks weren't bought and the bus was extremely late but I'm glad that it is all over and it wasn't all that bad, we made it through.. If there was an award for the worst coordinator i think i would win it by a landslide...

I'm so tired and a little emo.. it's like i want to be alone but i also want to be touched.. i wish you were here so i could wrap my arms around you and kiss those beautiful lips of yours.. i hate distance i hate cars i hate my legs because the won't make it to you...........

"......someday my pain will mark you"

After enough time passes.....

my tummie hurts so much............................

Okay....

the flat screen TV in the dining room seemed like a bad idea but i guess it isn't so bad i enjoyed it while i was cooking dinner in the kitchen.. i hate connivence and my father is still a moron...

Another Day....

Today was a lot of fun. i guess the beautiful weather can bring out a lot in a person. Work was a blast and now I'm trying to finish up typing these cool recipes and activities for the next CommunitY of Hope this upcoming Sunday. This month's theme is LOVE thanks St. Valentine. So everything will consist of LOVE, we are going to decorate cards with the little guys and the adults are going to write Thank You cards for the troops over seas and I'm also going to show them many different activities they can do with their little ones since Valentine's Day falls on a Saturday. So they could just spend the day with the ones they love and cook in instead of dining out. I'm glad that we are finally going to have our first C.O.H event for 2009 YAY!.. I've been a horrible coordinator yes i have. But I'm back!...lol

Well i must be in some sort of mood because I'm listening to Armor For Sleep.. hahaha straight up old school... i can't even hate because i remember in like 2004/2005 i found myself at tons of Armor For Sleep shows... what ever happened to those guys....blah

Daniel<3!....

So last night well earlier this morning i snuck my boy in and i don't know its something about us when we are together we could just enjoy each others company and talk all night long.. we talked about life, the ups and downs, death and everything else in between... We played the guitar and just enjoyed each other... i love cuddling with him even thou I'm the one who has to hold him through the night.. hahaha i know I'm the only person he could trust because of the fact he gets so ghey with me and i appreciate it i really do and i know if we aren't together together i had to emphasize the togetherness...lol.. i do know we are going to be the best of friends like Matt & Kim because that's the perks of having a boyfriend and a best friend at the same time.... i think we're to old to search for what we think we might like when we already know what we want and its each other.... he's the only guy that i know and that I've met so far that gets me and I'm pretty sure he knows i get him because i don't sweat his intentions anymore i already know it all comes from his beautiful heart... finally we've found each other and I'm ready to ride this one out<3!.....

and YAY<3!.. we are finally going to start our band.. 4 years in the making so watch out Matt & Kim because Abbie & Dan are here to stay.....lol

Police & thieves........

i wish i were a rude girl<3!........

is it okay to have a crush on your president....

He is so frickin cool Michelle is a lucky woman... i hope i can find a guy like this<3!.....


even the pac man is frickin groovey...hahahaha

Taker Not A Giver....

where has my youth gone.. Northstar brings back so many good memories... i don't want to get old anymore i want the life i had before this with no worries and no real plans just great times<3!.......

I blame the parents...

today i told one of my girls to stay with me on my side because she enjoys hanging out with the boys which they are not allowed to mix anymore.. So i told her to stay with me and she responds with "NO! What the ______!", she blanked out the curse but yet we all knew where she was going with it.... so i had to let her know listen I'm not your age and you're going to show me respect but what i really wanted to do was reach over that table and smack her little fucking face.. This little girl is out of control and this isn't the first time we went through this.. So after that when her father arrived to pick her up. I informed him of her behavior and he responds "she's a tom-boy what can i say".... now i see why she acts like that. Father dear if you knowing that she is a tom-boy helps you sleep at night more power to you but when your little girl comes home pregnant because she is a so called tom-boy we know who to blame......

shit I'm a tom-boy but my mother didn't play no games when it came to me being disrespectful... we need to bring the good old fashion beatings back!...... this is what's wrong with our youth today.....

Antique Bull

so i haven't written anything since leaving for my trip to Vermont and i had a blast. I know this is pretty racist to say but i felt like i was in "wassup rockers" because basically Stacy, James and I were the minority surrounded by Spanish speakers and i felt bilingual as well... But i will add those mofos know how to party i was stoned and drunk on the way and back, it felt like one long continuing day... Snowboarding was amazing i sucked the first day and the second day i improved maybe i should smoke more because smoking two blunts before hitting the slopes helped me focus and i accomplished the snow-shed mountain twice which was pretty intense. I really want to do it again that was the most fun i had in awhile plus our room was fucking sick.. We had a three bedroom apartment with a full kitchen with all the appliances in tacked, two bathrooms and a wonderful balcony overlooking the mountains that surround Vermont. A lot of people were hooking up and i decided not to even thou Marino was feeling me hardcore which he told me numerous times.. I think I've made up my mind and i know what i want in a guy and right now I'm working on that with someone. It's hard to to ignore history but it's up to us to correct the future and i think we're both on the same page for the first time in our lives meeting. I don't know but i do like where we are at the moment. Taking things a day at a time for once. Well anyway i really enjoyed myself and everyone there was fucking awesome. There were no fights just James trying to kill himself in our room by jumping off the ledge of our two floor apartment (people know your limit especially when it's a business trip). thank god he only hurt his ankle and not his head..plus Eddie has it on tape which I'm going to need a copy.hahaha... I thought it was pretty groovey of Stacy's boss and his brother to treat his employees so well maybe i should become a tattooist/artist/piercer. well whatever I'm staying connected because half the peeps that was on our getaway are artist and I'm looking for a great one.. Marino offered to touch up my neck tat so let's just see where this goes......

Vermont...

I don't think I've ever been there.. and I've never been snowboarding.. so i guess this will be a first.. i can't wait to get away I'm really going to enjoy this trip i hope i don't break anything.. because that would suck..lol.....

ahhh wish me luck.. see you in three days...lol


<3!

so tired of driving...........

driving is so tiring especially when they live to far.... I've never noticed how far this kid lived it was depressing trying to get home when you're afraid to get out of a warm situation to face the freezing cold outside.. ahh i wish you would have just come to my house....lol.. laziness + coldness makes Abbie one impossible chick.. blaaahh

I'm thinking about applying to the Hot topic in sunrise mall.... i could work for Neesha and still the YMCA.. i need to find another job.. i went apartment hunting and I've found some nice affordable Brooklyn apartments.. i just need to find another job.. ahhhhhh i hate money......

"Let's engage in an ongoing conversation, hopping from topic to topic from the tropic of cancer to recess and bitches, Why I'm always bringing work home with me more baby kittens and sucker punches".....

Horoscopes.....

when i woke up today I felt a little surreal.. like i was here but not really here..... I've been sitting here in front of this computer for awhile now.. not wanting to get myself ready to face the world so i just decided to read my horoscope and it summed up everything and told me i need to get my ass away from this computer and do what i need to do today.. if that isn't motivation then what is.....lol

"We aren't very practical today as the airy Libra Moon harmonizes with spiritual Neptune, lifting our thoughts into the cosmos. Rational Mercury creates tension with electric Uranus, speeding up our mental process and making it hard to grab on to anything specific. Later we have an opportunity to reestablish our center as a Sun-Moon square can provoke a minor crisis that pits the drive of the Capricorn Sun against the Libra Moon's need for balance.Floating along in the meandering stream of your feelings sounds idyllic today, but every time you start to get comfortable, erratic thoughts wake you from your reverie. As the day progresses, you become aware that the real events in your daily life must take precedence over your fantasies. It's not easy to bring yourself back down to earth, yet this is exactly what is currently needed."

Stop floating around yourself and do something productive BITCH......lol

Stay Warm friends<3!..................

so cold....

it's sooo cold and I'm also so bored... i wish i had somewhere to go.. majority of the time, I'm not bored but its just when it gets so cold i don't know where to hide myself..so sad...lol.....i don't know how I'm going to do it Monday when i go snowboarding... I'm going to be freezing my tushie off... maybe that's what I'll do tonight start packing and get things that i might need together...

well today was quite long.. i had a doctors appointment and my doctor believes I'm allergic to one of my kids at work because i keep breaking out.. I've been watching out for the things i consume and I've been frighten to sleep in my bed because Luke made me believe i had bedbugs which don't exist in my bed.. damn you Luke....lol.. so i need to be a little more careful i guess....

ooo and i lost a pound and a half.. haha not much but its a start.. YAY!...lol

Hot Cocoa time..........mmmmmmmmm yelp, yurp, sway ooooh boy SOY MILK.........

i love...

waking up in the morning and feeling happy to be alive..haha I'm so ghey but I've been enjoying my past couple of days and i hope there are many many more to come... Daniel gave me shit about my s/n..hahaha he said it makes his skin crawl.. thanx Daniel thanx but i guess you are right it is time for a new s/n since this is the beginning of a new year.. I'll send it out to all my friends.. i would post it on here but i know someone that i don't want having might read this.. haha yeah KARLos calls me a cheat so i had to reset my last.fm..... these men in my life always trying to change me but like they said, "i am only looking out for your best interest", hahaha they are horrible but i love them.......lol

but like i said before I'm happy to be alive and I'm thankful to be here yet another day.....

live in the moment.....

.. all this talk about the world coming to an end in 2012 made me realize a few things about my life and thanx to Stacy<3 i know that i really need to enjoy myself.. i don't need a boyfriend or the pressure of having a family to show that I've lived my life to the fullest... So for now on I'm not going to stress things, even thou i haven't in awhile, and just live in the now.. hahaha break out of that shell it's 2009 baby...lol

well today Stacy and i headed to the city to check out that radical bookstore I've been talking about and she loved it.. we got some cool reading materials and just chilled before i had to go to work..... even thou it was freezing outside that apple cinnamon spice tea warmed us up and made us even mellower after hitting her bowl.... great times.. i really enjoy Stacy's friendship she is straight forward and says what she feels and i appreciate that i have friends like that.. no bullshit or drama..

well I'm going to read that Franz Kafka book i picked up today and possibly read the rest of After Dark by Haruki Murakami, who has become my one of my favorite authors.......

it's funny how life works....

Vegan with a Vengeance.....

is the cookbook my older brother Dez got me for Christmas and by far this past Christmas has been amazing... I've gotten so much cool vegan friendly things such as an Adagio Tea Kit, 3 shelf bookcase (i own way to many books..lol), not to mention money and other cool well put together gifts ... I'm glad that i have awesome friends and family who support my lifestyle and see that it isn't just a phase.. i really enjoy being a vegan... I'm so excited about this cookbook and i can't wait to profess my love for food and veganism through these fun and kick ass recipes... well done Dez well done<3!.

nightmares.....

i had the worst dream last night... that you left me again but it was worse than the last times... i felt such pain and it seemed so real.. but it was my fault i dreamt such a painful dream.. before i went to bed i couldn't stop thinking about you and before i hit that wave i said i need to sop this because if you break my heart again this is going to be the one that kills me... and it did... ahhh please dont break my heart..even thou there is a little birdie in my ear that is chirping "he's going to leave you again and this time its going to be forever"......... FUCK ME!

the new me.....hahaha

i chopped off all of my hair and I'm sporting some sort of fade..hahaha yeah i like it it's different.. the kids at the school i teach question my style or my sort of expression through self mutilation..hahahaha bad choice of word but everything about me is art to my plugs to my tats to my hair.. i scream art but never acceptance because i already have that from myself.. i feel great things for 2009. I want to graduate this year find a better job and hopefully move out so i can move on with my life... so here's to 2009 and to my hair hahahahahahaha.....

so it's 4 in the morning...

Just got the most random ass phone call awhile ago from this radical punk kid Evan i used to go to nassau with... I had a huge crush on him and its surprising he still has my number...HOT<3...hahahha

This weekend was pretty sweet .... i can't believe i waited to now to try to get my shit together...i go back to teaching tomorrow, well today and i need to get my lesson plans in order to start my new year right...... i have to remember that i'm trying to be a better person...lol that was one of my new year resolutions so i have 360 days to better myself before the next new year arrives....lol

well Andrew and Stacy are passed out on my couches...hahaha step brothers gets funnier every time you watch.. plus Gordon's show...lol.. speaking of Gordon i ran into Damon in the city after having dinner with Andrew and Lookman.. I've missed Damon he is a good kid.. to bad we had that Hipster party to attend or we would have had to hit some bars up in Brooklyn with Damon...haha but it was good seeing him....lol

ahhh i miss my niece and nephew, trice, Ish and Tasha... it felt good having a lot of people in this lonely house like before..so sad ..... well it will be back to its normal lonely self once Lookman leaves for school...sigh


ahhh so these are the festivities i've been getting into and that HIPSTER party that Jess threw was a success... GREAT JOB JESSE<3!..lmfao

this is the new year.....

2008 went out in a blast got to chill with Lookman, my home slice Tranette and her boo boo and her weird friend Jeremy..lol... It was horrible when they left me with Jeremy but oooo so entertaining because of the fact he got off on torturing me and i got off allowing him too....Sorry Tranette i know you might read this..hahaha...

well our new years party was a success and everyone who said they were coming out came out.. got extremely smoked out with Trice, Justin, Stacy and corrupted Lookman just once..lol.. it was all in good fun.. Aunt Doris had a wonderful night which showed itself when she threw up on Lookman's carpet.. hahahahahahaha my dad was the worst he was so drunk he was dancing and screaming out the door "HAPPY NEW YEAR".. hahaha Stacy was a little scared of him but i found it hilarious.. awwww 2009 came in with a bang and a hell of a great time.. i'm so appreciative of my family and my true friends and glad to get rid of wasteful people in my life.. so here's to you 2009!!!..